Wow, this has been another rough week for drafting. This week and last just have not amounted to much and I'm not sure why. I'm just not seeing things very clearly in my mind, which is a pretty sharp reversal from most of April. Maybe it's a delayed reaction to day-job stress? Things have lightened up these last couple of weeks and maybe it's made me relax? I don't know.
Although now that I say that, it seems true. I've been slack on my workouts these last couple of weeks as well; today was just the second lifting day in as many weeks, and I've been running once. Not good when I have a 5k scheduled next Sunday.
And I wouldn't be surprised if all of this is tied together. Things relax at work after a couple months of pressure, and that triggers my natural laziness. I relax on my workouts, I relax on my writing, I start thinking that I've earned to some rest and enjoyment during the week.
Which is bullshit. I haven't earned shit, and I need to remember that. Getting the timeline started on Battlesongs doesn't count for accomplishments. That's going to happen no matter what, and the only thing treating the publishing process like it means anything will accomplish is making sure I make mistakes. Best case scenario, Battlesongs gets me halfway to the goal. So with BSoH on autopilot, the most important thing right now is getting Nomad's drafted. I'm still on schedule to finish by the end of the year, but I'm starting to run out of wiggle room.
The good news today is I set a new PR on 5x3 overhead press, and would have gotten a PR in 5x1 deadlifts if I hadn't let my grip relax on rep 3, which threw off my form and made it so I couldn't pull the last two reps.
I'm starting to notice a pattern here.
It's most obvious on squats. At the bottom of the squat, something in my brain at least tells me that the easiest way out of this rather uncomfortable position is to relax my hamstrings and lower back and drive up with my quads. And it would be, if not for the fact that doing so will tear up my ASIS tendons and get crushed like an accordion when I run out of gas halfway up. We call that a "bad thing".
The lesson I have to learn, that I already know, that I have to actually fucking respect is that I am lazy by nature, and if I want to be of any use to anyone, I cannot relax. Weekdays are for work. I am supposed to get up, go to work, come home, work out, write 800 words, make lunch for tomorrow, and go to sleep. That's it. That's what my days should be like.
No sitting around for a half hour looking at email before I start lifting. No reading forums before I start writing. One thing to the next, as efficiently as possible, and no rationalizing deviations from the schedule. No cutting myself a break because of a hard day at work, no blowing off workouts because it's raining/cold, no taking it easy because I did well the day before.
If it was easy, everyone would do it.
I give myself more than enough slack already. My Fridays and Saturdays are completely free, at least until Girlfriend schedules things, and later this year I plan on spending all day on Sundays watching football. My word count quotas for Nomad's are a fucking joke compared to what I did for Battlesongs. And if I can't handle a workload this light, maybe I need to tighten things up so I don't get a chance to relax.
Tighten things up, get mad, and get ON this shit.
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